mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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