Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize