Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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