Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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