I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
