im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
