She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
