Apparently you make a good broom.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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