East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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