i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize