Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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