What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
