Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
