Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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