people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize