You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
