mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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