So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
