I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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