don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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