Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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