Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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