mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
A+ Viking dick
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
