i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
