hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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