You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
