My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
