I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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