and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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