He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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