Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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