no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
