can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
