got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
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Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.