Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.