Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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