Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.

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  (516): Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it. http://tfl.nu/st29
  Replies (22) Good night (4044) Bad night (732)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?

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  (816): Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation? http://tfl.nu/p01u
  Replies (2) Good night (2422) Bad night (679)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway

  (925): View more from California

  I hate that you know that from experience

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  (206): you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway (925): I hate that you know that from experience http://tfl.nu/zmuh
  Replies (11) Good night (1246) Bad night (2297)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.

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  (541): Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused. http://tfl.nu/dae0
  Replies (9) Good night (1859) Bad night (670)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".

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  (318): Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea". http://tfl.nu/c66k
  Replies (5) Good night (2210) Bad night (646)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.

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  (616): Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing. http://tfl.nu/tiqf
  Replies (2) Good night (1219) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"

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  (407): I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry" http://tfl.nu/fy98
  Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.

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  (410): Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times. http://tfl.nu/siml
  Replies (8) Good night (2272) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.

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  (905): All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for. http://tfl.nu/6yyp
  Replies (12) Good night (668) Bad night (2127)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?

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  (508): Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit? http://tfl.nu/74kz
  Replies (7) Good night (816) Bad night (528)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.

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  (724): i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager. http://tfl.nu/vpf4
  Replies (5) Good night (1437) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?

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  (843): Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets? http://tfl.nu/2734
  Replies (9) Good night (485) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?

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  (916): It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you? http://tfl.nu/y550
  Replies (2) Good night (938) Bad night (306)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.

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  (910): Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music. http://tfl.nu/9l8h
  Replies (8) Good night (1155) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room

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  (303): I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room http://tfl.nu/jyfe
  Replies (2) Good night (246) Bad night (409)

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