discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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