forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
