do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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