Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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