OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
