Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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