Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
