She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
