Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
