There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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