We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
