I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
