it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize