dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
