I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
