There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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