I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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