I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
