Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
