sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
