Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
